Ninety-eight point nine percent of the residents residing in
Fernbrook Resort (Freelton edition) are decent, honest and thoughtful folks who
wouldn’t bother a fly. And this blog isn’t about them.
It’s for
them.
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| "Please don't make me sue the pants off the Good Old Boys and Girls. Seriously. I'm not joking... it would give me nightmares," pleaded the Amazing Lawyer Girl. |
Because this blog
is about that small group of One-Point-One Percenters. That small gang of Good
Old Boys and Girls who are indecent, dishonest and thoughtless. Their world
revolves around them. And yours better too if you want to get along with them.
And, quite naturally, I wanted to use the
names of those Good Old Boys and Girls who are causing ninety-eight point nine
percent of the problems in this once law-abiding and peaceful resort. But my
extremely attractive and intelligent counsel advised against it.
(Note: I added the extremely attractive and intelligent
after the Amazing Lawyer Girl vetted this. She’s not going to read it again. If
she wanted to waster her time she would move to the United States and cast a vote for
Trump. Good luck Donald, even if you win you’re going to lose!)
 | |
| "I may be stupid but I'm not One-Point-One Percent stupid," | boasted Donald Trump. |
Anyway, Lawyer Girl said, “If you use real
names there is a chance that a baseless suit could be filed. Leading to an
unnecessary expense for you. And while I would really love to update the
kitchen in my cottage, in all good conscience I have to advise you not to use
real names of the Good Old Boys and Girls, or the One-Point One Percenters or
whatever name you dream up for this gang of childish reprobates.”
Naturally I’m
going to follow her advice.
Not just because
she’s my legal counsel but also because she’s quite attractive. Hey, I may be
dumb, but I’m not stupid. (Correct. She didn’t read this paragraph either. If
she had she would have struck the part about me not being stupid).
Which brings us
to the legal disclaimer.
“All names, dates and identifying details have been changed so as not to embarrass, humiliate, mortify or otherwise cause any
mental or emotional discomfort to the One-Point-One Percenters of Fernbrook
Resort Freelton.”
If
they did feel any of these emotions it would be an indication that they had
some sort of conscience. Confused, they would either call the police and file a
fake harassment complaint or else contact their lawyer and initiate legal
proceedings.
One
other thing. Every single character mentioned in this blog has a mustache. So
even if the character sounds like you but you don’t have a mustache than it
can’t possibly be you. Suck on that for while.
And if you don’t
understand the title to this blog you’ve just identified yourself as one of the
One-Point One Percenters. Let us explain. Fernbrook Resort Freelton was used in
the title as this is about a resort named Fernbrook Resort that can be found in
Freelton. We didn’t want you mixing this up with the awesome folks of Fernbrook
Resort in New Zealand.
And why: “Stupid
is the New Smart”? Well, the One-Point One Percenters have a practiced penchant
for doing stupid things AND getting away with their stupidity. Time and time
again. Making them think that they’re smart. So they act like they’re smarter
than everyone else. And, yes, it is an act. Because in all honesty I don’t
think they’re smarter than any one else. At all. So, as a tribute both to their
level of intelligence and their actions, “Stupid is the New Smart” is the title.
At least in Fernbrook Resort. The Freelton Fernbrook Resort. Not the New Zealand
one. Sorry about that New
Zealand. We don’t want to start some
international incident.
 | |
| Fernbrook Resort Freelton dignitaries open the Resort's first blog dedicated to those who would be stupid! |
I now declare this blog of stupid events and they’re oh so
smart perpetrators to be officially open.
Let the games begin.
This is harassment! I am going to call facebook and complain.
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