‘It’s true!” Fernbrook Resort Freelton Sued By Resident Genius

‘It’s true!” Fernbrook Resort Freelton Sued By Resident Genius

“It’s true,” the Resort’s self acknowledged resident genius Lumpy Rutherford admitted, “I had to sue Fernbrook. So I could prove just how smart I am. Residents here just aren’t acknowledging my genius enough. Most people don’t even know that I’m the only person in the world to memorize all 37 letters of the alphabet.”

                                                                                                 

"The alphabet does too have 37 letters," confirmed Lumpy

“It’s true,” agreed the red-maned Vaginasauraus Rex (V-Rex) one of Lumpy’s greatest admirers and many supporters. “When he first told me how smart he was I just couldn’t believe it. But now that Lumpy is the instigator behind each of the many groups taking legal steps against Fernbrook I can almost believe that he might possibly be smart. Someday.” she hedged nervously as she looked over her shoulder. “He can’t hear us can he?” she whispered.

And why did the highly self-esteemed Lumpy Rutherford have to sue Fernbrook Resort?

“It’s true that I had to sue,” replied Lumpy, “but there are so many problems I hardly know where to begin. One thing that rankles me is the fact that they never turn the streetlights on during the day. Just recently I tripped over my own three feet in broad daylight and chipped my tooths,” he lisped. “That would never have happened if the streetlight had been turned on. And another thing, they never bill us for electricity. Or for property taxes. That’s ridiculous.”

“It’s true,” interrupted Ms. V-Rex, “Lumpy did trip over his own two feet in the broad daylight. And it’s the lack of street lights that was to blame. Not his clumsiness. Or his oafish demeanor. And we aren’t being billed for certain key expenditures either.”

"I'm not delusional, you the one who's delusional," said V-Rex.

“It’s true. Just like I told you,” said an out and proud Lumpy, “I want to be billed. And I also want to put an end to the implied interest free loans that Fernbrook Resort provides to its residents by not billing us in a timely fashion. I want to be charged interest. And plenty of it. When I accomplish this for myself and the residents here that will teach everyone who’s the most smartestest here.”

“It’s true that something will be proved,” nodded V-Rex softly in agreement. “But not only should we be charged interest, that interest should be compounded daily at the most usurious rate allowed by law.”

“It’s true… but ummm… I don’t know what all that means moaned a suddenly pensive Lumpy Rutherford, “You know the doctor says that you’re not supposed to use big words around me. They make my head hurt,” he reproached V-Rex tearfully. “Ow. Ow ow ow ow ow!”

“It’s true, your doctor did say that,” Then in a much lower voice V-Rex whispered softly, “And he also said something about turning on the gas, forgetting to light the pilot and going for a long walk. A very long walk. Verrrrry lonnnnnnnnnng.”

“It’s true that I have the most bestestest doctor of all,” smiled Lumpy. “Hey, do you want to go outside and watch me fall down some more? I want to chip some more tooths and then blame an innocent third party for my own lack of foresight and dearth of common sense.”

“It’s true that I would love to see you fall down again. I know… Why don’t we take a stroll down by the lake. And I could give you a little push – ”

“What?”

 “Oh nothing. Nothing at all. You coming?”

Fernbrook Resort's beautiful freshwater lake is teeming with life.